Should we take our problems with others only to God, or can we seek the counsel of friends?

                In the era of #metoo and social media conflicts causing people to lose their jobs or job opportunities (see the story about the NASA intern who cussed out her boss and was fired), one wonders if people are going about interpersonal communication the wrong way. I typically hear pastors and fellow Christians saying to cast our worries and problems onto Jesus, and that will take care of it. I think this view is slightly flawed. Indeed, we should cast our worries onto Jesus, but problems will still come our way, and how we deal with them is part of our testimony of the transformation of Christ in our lives to the rest of the world. However, my views mean nothing, this all comes to scripture and what God has told us, so what I want to do is to show where God has given us an example of interpersonal communication handled in a godly manner. For this, I want to break down a few of my one-sentence personal thoughts

                Be the bigger person, even when you have the “high ground”: We can look at the story of David and King Saul. David had been anointed as the next king, and Saul knew it. David was winning honors and battles in Saul’s name, and the people favored David over Saul. Saul sought to kill David multiple times during Saul’s remaining years as king, and David fled from Saul. David was presented with a n opportunity to kill Saul while he slept, but instead he let him live, because he recognized Saul as God’s chosen king. Most anyone else probably would have taken the opportunity to get rid of the person hounding them, but David recognized that Saul was God’s child as much as he was. Try to keep this in mind as you are dealing with that colleague who is out to get you.

                Beware of the people who you trust with your problems: We have all dealt with that person that we have talked about our problems with, then they turned around and broadcast what you said in confidence to them to the world. We have examples of betrayals occurring in scripture, and instead of focusing on the obvious betrayal of Judas, let’s focus on Peter. Peter denied Christ in public 3 times, and was later forgiven by Jesus. We should take from this that we should be ready to forgive those who betray or trust and friendship, as we are commanded (Matthew 6:15).

                Find someone who will stick closer than a brother: God made us to be social creatures, both with Him and with other people. We will have relationships with one another, and we are commanded to build each other up (Hebrews 10:24-25) and to put filthy talk from our mouths (Colossians 3:8)(also thinking about the NASA story here). Now this doesn’t necessarily lead to us sharing our burdens, but we are also commanded to rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15). This commandment that we do have friends, and we can avoid the problem in the above paragraph by heeding to Proverbs 18:24 “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother”. We should choose our friends wisely, but we need community around us so we can build them up and support them, just as much as they do for us.

                While there is probably much more to be said on this topic, but I think this lays a complete general story. I hope that this is helpful to you, the reader, in how I and my reading of scripture describes how Christians should be dealing with one another, both inside and outside of the church. May God bless you and have a good rest of your day.